Dear Jared Leto,
It was recently made painfully obvious to me that there actually is something out there worse than the music written by your band 30 Seconds to Mars...
Your Acting!
For you latest movie, Chapter 27, you gained 67 pounds to play to role of Mark David Chapman, the man who shot and killed John Lennon. With that kind of investment in a role, one would think that your performance would have been phenomenal. That however, was not the case. Instead the movie was a 90 minute excuse for you to take off your shirt, show off your chubs, and somehow find new ways to associate southern accents with complete and total retardation.
I've come to terms with the fact that I will never get back the hour and a half of my time that you wasted. I can't hold you personally responsible, nor can I single out Chapter 27 from the ever growing list of terrible movies that have most certainly squandered days from my life. However I was quite disheartened when I discovered the means by which you gained the necessary weight for your role...
Microwaved ice cream mixed with soy sauce and olive oil?!
Really, are you fucking kidding me? If you needed to gain weight, wouldn't you at least want to enjoy it? I couldn't imaging your magically milk shake tasting much better than the slurry in my toilet bowl that came as the end result of a late night bar crawl and a Taco Bell binge.
The only conclusion that I can draw from this: Jared Leto hates starving children. Not only did you waste food to give this lack luster performance, but you paraded around on screen as if to make these poor underprivileged children sure of one thing...
They're hungry and your not!
Jared Leto, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Respectfully,
D
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