Bro, Come Out of the Closet or Leave the Jeep in the Garage!

The Jeep is one of many vehicles that fall into an illustrious group...

Vehicles that have been duplicated, molded in pink plastic, somehow made to look incredibly flamboyant with the addition of decals, and driven by none other than the infamous Miss Barbie.



Others in this group include the Corvette and the New Beetle, vehicles which more in common than just Barbie...

they are all among the gayest vehicles that a man can drive.

Now you would either have to be incredibly secure in your sexuality to drive a Jeep, or borrowing the lady friend's for a quick trip to the store for some milk.

In the case of the Jeep that I was following to work the other morning, I'm hoping it was the second of the two above mentioned options.

Reason being: said Jeep included a license plate proclaiming, "When the suns out, I drive with my top off."

Now this is obviously a license plate frame for women, and believe me, I get the double entendre, Jeeps have removable tops... har har, fucking hilarious, and yes, I would love to see a beautiful girl driving around in a Jeep with her top off, who wouldn't, that's the kind of thing that America was founded on. But dude, get a hint, if you are in fact the owner of that Jeep, just know this...

You are either one of the most closeted men alive, or you have resigned yourself to a life in which your manhood will never again reach a level higher than that of a little plastic man named Ken.

D

Hey Weather, Knock it the Fuck Off!

I appreciate that you finally got off your ass and gave the mountains enough snow for ski/snowboarding to be possible, but you've simply just gone too far.

It was a little annoying, but tolerable, when you almost prevented me from spending Christmas with my family because the passes were bad. Strike One.

Having to drive back across White Pass in poor conditions and subsequently battle the snow between Yakima and Ellensburg. Strike Two.

Warming up to 30 degrees above the previous day's high temperature of 30 degrees F, melting most snow, creating little muddy rivers on the roads, and causing a wind storm that resulted in a power outage. Strike three.

You have officially become the unwelcome party guest that shows up uninvited, drinks the beer in the fridge, hits on people's girl friends in the sleaziest manor possible, and before leaving the party at 3:30 in the morning, proceeds to leave an upper-decker in the master bathroom toilet. It's time to take a hint, and knock it the fuck off!